Totally random

I've been counting the weeks since I've been back in my home sweet home, and tomorrow marks the start of my 5th week in kuching! How fast time really flies!

Before I boarded the plane on 1st May 2010 from KUL to KCH, I cannot stop thinking to myself, 'finally, away from all the dramas!' I was relieved. REALLY relieved. The never ending dramas, school work, my mood swing (not because of pms, excuse mua) and so many things could easily trigger my ticking time bomb, seriously! Sometimes people, incidents really drive me up the wall. It became to an extend that when I first landed in kuching, I couldn't lift the burden off me, I had sleepless nights, I had nightmares about not finishing my exam, I tossed and turned in bed thinking possibly of everything, and now I have a popping left ear! But then, after a good book, I manage to lift the "time bomb" and put it aside first and just enjoy my holiday!

I'm a very sensitive person and I tend to think a lot, which is not good at all. I get influenced by people easily, I can interpret nothing into totally something! Which really got me into thinking, why am I like this? This reminds me of an aphrodism - Don't ask why are they like that, instead ask, why am I like this? It's true, we can't change no one, and we can't expect everyone to have the same frequency and wavelength as us, the point is, we cannot expect too much from someone! Because to me, disappointment follows. And it happens so often that it really kills my mood and intention and in the end what do I get? Nothing but heartbreaks. So really, there's no point in minding too much after all. Gee, I am talking as if I am very clear about these but it's always the total opposite when things like that occur!

When you are able to let go, only then you can move forward. Oh I know this so well, but I always come back to the same point, and it make me seems like I am moving in a circle and making/having history repeats itself! Annoying or not? That's my MAJOR problem. Secretly, I hope I can be a better person when uni starts. *prays hard*

Now, there's another aphrodism in my mind which is create your own culture, instead of following the culture, another aphrodism from the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom (It's a really good book! Must read!) I shall stop minding what people does and start minding myself about things I do. I want to make the best out of everything I do instead of spending 90% of my energy onto some people who do not really appreciate it aye? If people see me as competition, I'd be honored. And that's it!

And i shall stop thinking for now before I err... think too much.